While I’m not one to celebrate Hallmark holidays mostly to not buy into the consumerism, but also to honor what they represent throughout the year, not just a day I am told to honor it. Call it the rebel in me yet I have found that these days can offer a moment of reflection. Mother’s Day is one of those days that mark one of the most tremendous gifts in my healing journey.
For years this day reminded me of the pain that I did not have a mother who I could rely on, to reach out to in moments of need for advice or comfort among many other things. As I became a mother, the pain intensified as I felt she couldn’t understand me as a mother and the choices I was making. So many boundaries made, crossed and completely ignored to the point of separation.
When I began my healing journey my relationship with my mother as well as being a mother have been the greatest gift of guiding me back to myself. Learning how to mother myself from conception to adulthood was the most powerful tool of opening my heart space and my womb to create the version of myself I could fully embrace. I stopped looking to her to provide me with all the things that I can now give to myself and out of this place of truly loving myself can I now love her in all her ways. I found the depths within myself to be a mother who ends the wounds of generations.
Of course there are still moments where she or my son might trigger me. In that moment, I go back to my inner child and sit with her to listen to what she has to say, how she is feeling and what she needs. It’s a consistent cycle of mothering myself compassionately without judgement, one that only I can do for myself. I have found over the years that asking others to fulfill this role is outsourcing to those who don’t know what it is I need in the depths of my being.
Becoming intimately aware of ourselves and our needs is key to how we relate to others in our life as they are mere reflections of ourselves. The degree we can meet others in relationship is the degree in which we have allowed ourselves to enter into our own divine communion. From the place of inner communion we are free to explore all our relationships with others without the entanglement of needing them to fulfill a role in our lives.
So how did I spend my mother’s day? My son and I watched our favorite show together and played badminton in the street laughing hysterically at one another. I had my mom over to simply sit together, watch a sweet movie and gave her a much needed manicure. It was a sweet, simple day full of gratitude.
The mother wound goes deep and effects us on every level of our being as we learn so much about who we are in relation to how we are raised by these amazing creators of life. No matter our gender, we are all created in the sacred space of the womb and carry the gifts as well as wounds of our mother and her mother and so on. How has your relationship with your mother defined who you are in relation to yourself and others? May this time be a reflection of the beautiful soul you chose to bring you into this incarnation. May you find those moments of compassionately learning how you can mother yourself.