My journey has always been a spiritual one, a path that has taken me all around the world, literally and figuratively, only to bring me home to myself. I have come to see that our path will continue to invite us to a greater awakening along our journey. We all have a choice though. Some may choose this awakening with the simple desire for something “better” while others need the cosmic two by four to wake up. My invitation to you is to not wait until you have an existential crisis to follow that path. Choose you, choose now.
As we enter into a new decade, I realize that the first year of the last decade was brought in by the birth of my only child. Almost four years after his birth, I found myself in an overwhelming existential crisis caused by my only child changing overnight into someone I didn’t recognize. The sweet, loving and compassionate child became full of rage, violent and completely unpredictable. At the same time, I began to have suicidal thoughts that I later came to understand were from years of burying my emotions. I realized something had to change. I was incapacitated with anxiety and depression, dreading each and every day because I had no idea who my son would be and what he was capable of that day let alone who I was. Fear was my closest companion and yet my biggest enemy.
With the support of trusted friends, family and practitioners (MNRI therapy, energy healing, Reiki, naturopathy, homeopathy and an integrative physician). I slowly went off all my anxiety/depression medications and nursed myself back to health. At the same time I was working on myself, I was supporting my son’s healing using the same methods I used for myself.
During those years I was so focused on fixing/healing my son that I neglected to see what we were reflecting for each other. He has been my mirror and greatest teacher by reflecting back to me the things that were in such desperate need of healing deep within myself, everything that I had completely shut off. Once I started to work on those beautiful yet challenging awarenesses within myself, I realized that he began to get better.
We were both healing at the same time as we addressed our challenges on a multi- level approach (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual). His emotions moods were becoming more stable and he was actually becoming more joyful. I will never forget the first time I ever heard him say at the age of 6, “Mom, I love my life!” I went to bed crying that night with such joy as I realized that my son was returning to his true self of absolute pure essence of love and light. The more I chose to embrace healing, the more my son was becoming free to be himself!
We are still on a journey of wholeness and healing and long to share what we have learned along the way because honestly, unless you have been through it, it’s just impossible to fathom what parents of “special needs” kiddos go through. I prefer to refer to these amazing beings as “uber aware” (coined by Carla O’Brien) because these kiddos are so tuned in to things we simply cannot understand. It is my wholehearted belief that there is nothing “wrong with them” nor do they need to be “fixed”. However, we CAN assist in relieving some of their symptoms that our society loves to throw labels on, which is where I can help guide you.
Two years later we have started the path of self-directed learning that has taken us along a major shift in our entire outlook on life, conscious parenting and our life’s purpose. Moving out of fear and into love, trusting that life is for us has brought us so much freedom! I don’t have all the answers, but what I do have is the heart to walk with others on their path. We are meant to be in connection with others and when we have these sacred soul friendships, healing happens.
My life path has been one filled with trauma that has led me to my greatest medicine. Having a circle of friends that held space for me to walk this path was pivotal. The Anam Cara Path is about finding those soul friends that lead us to our true self. That person you are longing to be, is who you actually are. Join me on this path of coming home to yourself.